Cinco/Thinking

If I remember correctly, five people contract AIDS every minute. In my lifetime, I've lost at least five people to three little words: HIV. And though it's been more than a decade and a half since the first passing, I still can't form the words to speak about them. To talk about the hurt and anger and hopelessness those first two deaths have caused me.

Once I became true to myself and started down the path to hell (i.e. crossed over to the world of Black Gay Sex!), I tried to put those three little words out of my consciousness. I knew all the info and preventative measures, I just ignored them and engaged in some seriously risky behaviour. How I was able to avoid AIDS is beyond me. Once I woke up, I became a broken record. Anyone willing to hear -- hell, anyone in earshot, whether they wanted to hear or not -- got the prevention message, info about proper condom usage and an offer to accompany them to get tested. I travelled to so many clinics, doctors offices and made so many appointments for others to get information and tested. I got tested about 6 or 7 times myself.

Unfortunately, all that activity got me exhausted. I suffer (am still suffering?) from overload and have not been as vigilant as in the past. I could lie and say I hope to change that. But given my recent history and the daunting personal tasks in my near future, I can't make any promises. I just hope I've helped change some people's mindsets. I hope some have kept the message that they can make a difference in their lives; that they can protect themselves.

--- World AIDS Day 2003 links:

Donald looks to the future

Personal stories from couple Mike and ej

karsh says link and think, but think first

Anitra gives her perspective

Stephanie shares hers

Rachel goes the multimedia route with AIDS awareness

j. proclaims himself the last sucker

Bernie drops some knowledge

Aaron has two posts, one on a controversial poster and another on a new campaign to fight prejudice

It's About Justice

3 of 5 in Jogger Case Sue City, Charging a Wide Conspiracy

Three of the five men whose convictions were overturned last year in the 1989 Central Park jogger attack filed a federal civil rights lawsuit yesterday against New York City, the Police Department and prosecutors.

In the lawsuit, filed in United States District Court in Manhattan, the three claimed that their convictions in the 1989 attack were based on racial animus and a wide conspiracy among law enforcement officials.

The suit, which seeks $50 million for each man, did not come as a surprise. In fact, lawyers for the three men, Antron McCray, Kevin Richardson and Raymond Santana Jr., along with the men's families, said months ago that they would seek civil damages. That was after a State Supreme Court justice in Manhattan vacated the original convictions as recommended by the Manhattan district attorney, Robert M. Morgenthau. (Lawyers for the two other men whose convictions were overturned, Yousef Salaam and Kharey Wise, have previously indicated that they will bring similar suits.)

Representatives for the city, the district attorney and the Police Department would not comment on the lawsuit, saying they had not seen it.

Mr. Morgenthau's 11-month reconstruction of the case last year found DNA and other evidence that the jogger had been beaten and raped by only one man, Mathias Reyes, a convicted murderer and rapist who confessed last January that he alone had attacked the jogger.

The other men served between 7 and 13 years in jail.

[ the complete article ]

'I Want Justice'

3 in Jogger Case Sue City

"I want justice; I never received justice," Santana, 29, told reporters yesterday. "I never received an apology, nothing. ... We're going to ride this all the way to the end."

[ the complete article ]

For James Baldwin

James Arthur Baldwin
Born August 2, 1924 in Harlem, NY,
Died December 1 1987, St. Paul-de-Vence, France

The first of nine children of Berdis (Jones) a clergyman and a factory worker, David (step-father), in Harlem, NY. Baldwin was a storefront preacher for three years starting at age 14. His writing started as a way to escape his stern stepfather. He attended Frederick Douglass Junior High School and DeWitt Clinton High School

He graduated from high school in 1942 and moved to New Jersey to begin working as a railroad hand. In 1944 he moved to Greenwich Village where he met Richard Wright and began his first novel, In My Father's House. In 1953 he finished his important novel, Go Tell It on the Mountain which stands as a partially autobiographical account of his youth. The following year he wrote the play, The Amen Corner and won the Guggenheim Fellowship.

During the 1960's Baldwin returned to the United States and became politically active in support of civil rights.

Baldwin wrote novels, poetry, essays and a screenplay in the later years of his life. He died of stomach cancer at his home in St. Paul de Vence, France.

* updated with related links:

I meant to post this on the anniversary of Baldwin's passing. After I complete my next book, I plan to re-read Go Tell It on the Mountain, then a related essay collection. Of course, no reading of Baldwin would be complete without the superb and still relevant The Fire Next Time.

Bitin'

* via ej, from Jason, then Trent

ronn taylor's 1st Big Post of Life

Top 5 things wrong in my field of vision right now:

1. Joe Lieberman's "If I don't get that nomination, no one will" attitude.
2. The white press wilding witnessed in l'affaire MiJak
3. All of my former favorite TV programs -- I can't remember the last time I watched ER, Law & Order, and especially Third Watch (shit, just got reminded of this when I saw Sully browsing in Barnes & Noble today)
4. Joe Lieberman as a human being. A very annoying fucking human being.
5. George Bush and all of his flunkies. I swear ta gawd: I'll really consider a temp move to Canada should this asshole win again/this time.

Name four things you wished you had:

1. Clients. Shit, I'll wish for a single damn client.
2. A 3-gen iPod
3. A decent, used PowerBook.
4. I was going to say more money, but #1 takes care of that. So a bit of time to enjoy life and fam and just being ronn.

Name four smells you love :

1. My baby's particular scent filling my nose.
2. Big Mama's Anna's place. Especially if she's burnin' in the kitchen.
3. Ol' school Nubian musk.
4. Me burnin' in the kitchen.

Name four things you are thinking about:

1. My baby.
2. Clients.
3. Boston.
4. Chatting online.

Name four things you did today:

1. Hit the snooze alarm too many times.
2. Worked.
3. Played with my nephew.
4. Checked too many emails & reblogged

Top 5 songs of the right now:

1. "The Christmas Song" by Nat King Cole, the definitive version.
2. "You Don't Know My Name" by Alicia Keys. I "hate" her a bit less.
3. "Touch" by Seal. Thx ej.
4. "Palabras De Alma" by Marc Anthony.
5. "How Do You Mend A Broken Heart" by Mr. Ruben Studdard.

Last thing you:

• Did :: ate a knish. Love that word almost as much as the taste.
• Read :: Plenty of emails, several blogs. And Take Me Out on the subway ride home.
• Watched on TV :: UPN9 Snooze.

Who do you want to:

• Kill :: No one.
• Hear from :: My twin.
• Look like :: Ah, my twin.
• Be like :: me, myself, and i.

Last time:

• Last song you heard :: "Say" - Kem
• Last movie you saw :: "Drumline"
• Last movie you saw on the big screen :: "21 Grams," snooze.
• Last thing you had to drink :: Canada Dry Lemon Lime Twist
• Last thing you ate :: That knish and a swiss bacon cheese burger (well done, fried onions and the works).
• Last time you cried :: Cried?! I'm ronn taylor, yo.
• Last time you smiled :: Just before I finished this. My baby makes me smile, laugh and dream.
• Last time you laughed :: See above.
• Last time you danced :: Danced?! I'm ronn taylor, yo.
• Last person you hugged :: My baby.
• Last thing you said :: "Um, hmm!"
• Last person you talked to online :: Blaze
• Last thing you smelled :: My Sketchers.
• Last car ride :: Some hot mami dropped me off at church coupla months ago .
• Last CD played :: The Last Poets first album.
• Last item bought :: that knish and swiss bacon burger.

Albums playing on the regular right now:

Several burned CDs from DJ Swole.

Bandwagon Time?

I'm not sure I'll join the Cult of Dean although I am mos def voting against Bush next year. I want to attend a meetup, but don't want to be the only one there. Especially if I'm the only person of color there. Email me if you plan on attending the January 7, 2003 meetup.

On New York

Anil Dash on the True Center of the Universe

There's a tendency for any positive dialogue about New York to be seen as unseemly, the vain preening of a city already too obsessed with itself. This is mostly the opinion of people whose impression of New York City is stuck somewhere between 15 and 25 years ago, when subway cars were still covered in graffiti, and when city parks were dangerous instead of idyllic. I'm fine with people's outdated notions of New York, though; It keeps them from overcrowding the city with their tourism.

A Defining Moment

[ via Latino Pundit ] :

I don't read the Black Commentator that often (they're a little too... strident (?) for my tastes). So I missed this commentary on Dem front-runner Howard Dean:

The Black Commentator | Dean Makes Racial-Political History

Howard Dean’s December 7 speech is the most important statement on race in American politics by a mainstream white politician in nearly 40 years. Nothing remotely comparable has been said by anyone who might become or who has been President of the United States since Lyndon Johnson’s June 4, 1965 affirmative action address to the graduating class at Howard University.

For four decades, the primary political project of the Republican Party has been to transform itself into the White Man’s Party. Not only in the Deep South, but also nationally, the GOP seeks to secure a majority popular base for corporate governance through coded appeals to white racism. The success of this GOP project has been the central fact of American politics for two generations – reaching its fullest expression in the Bush presidency. Yet a corporate covenant with both political parties has prohibited the mere mention of America’s core contemporary political reality: the constant, routine mobilization of white voters through the imagery and language of race.

I'm a bit surprised that Dean gets any praise from the BC, but if they're like me, I'll vote for anyone besides the current resident in the White House; an unelectable buffoon.

But here's the real kicker for me:

In 1968, Richard Nixon won the White House. He did it in a shameful way – by dividing Americans against one another, stirring up racial prejudices and bringing out the worst in people.

They called it the "Southern Strategy," and the Republicans have been using it ever since. Nixon pioneered it, and Ronald Reagan perfected it, using phrases like "racial quotas" and "welfare queens" to convince white Americans that minorities were to blame for all of America's problems.

That's from the very beginning of Dean's speech. I'm sure that last part will piss off a lot of Repugnants and some "moderate" Democrats, but no truer words were spoken.

Got Ya Koufax Here!

Been meaning to post about this:

Wampum: The 2003 Koufax Awards

The time has arrived to begin the nomination process for the 2003 Koufax Awards. This is the second year of the awards. In the fast moving world of blogs, that qualifies them as a tradition. The purpose of the awards is to recognize and applaud the best of the left. It is supposed to be fun for us and for you. Please take the awards in the spirit in which they are offered.

Mary Beth and I will be accepting nominations during the month of December. Nominations may be submitted either by comment to this post or by email to either of us. The email addresses are at the right. Each week for the next few, we will attempt to post links to nominated posts and blogs so that we may have an informed electorate.

Some categories recognize specific posts. We request that, if possible, your nominations for those categories contain a hyperlink. Someone has to locate the link and if last year’s experience is any indication, locating all of the links for nominated posts is a lot of work. Help us out if you can. If you can not, describe the post as best you can and I will try to hunt it down.

I have to wade through a lot of bookmarked posts and do plenty of websearches, but I intend to nominate a few bloggers for their excellent work.

And I can't believe someone nominated me for "Best Post" for my Linda Fairstein, Lying Coward entry in January. I thought it was too rambling and given that I've pretty much abandoned posting to the Central Park 5 section, it made me smile a bit. Maybe it will inspire me to write more. While the story has died down a great deal, there is a tremendous amount of info and feelings that I can write about. Stay tuned.

Afro-Punks Rawk!

[ saw this at least twice before Mr. Woo's posted email forward ] :

dante woo / blog

help afro-punk get on the road

-----original message-----
from: afro-punk crew
sent: monday, december 15, 2003 8:39 pm
to: dante woo
subject: help afro-punk get on the road

afro-punk is going on the road and you can help!

with february being national black employment month we decided to go on a couple of tours. so i am wondering if you might be able to help me set up some screenings of the film in california and chicago. if not maybe you can lead me to a venue or a promoter who can. i will be on tour with my projector so all i need is a flat wall or screen, ample sound for the room and people to show it to. we can work out the door, money, promotion cost whatever too.

chicago: we are looking to do screenings on the 9th, 10th and 12th in chicago, detroit or surrounding areas.

california: i will be northern california from the 20th - 24th. i will be in so cal from 26th - march 1st.

i am interested in all kinds of screenings but i would really like to focus on getting it to people of color so if that means after school programs or community centers that is cool. i would also be down for doing some punk type screenings too so don't be discouraged if that is more your strong suit.

any suggestions are encouraged.

thanks a lot.

james spooner

ps. if you would like to be part of the street team let me know.

photos* by jose ivey (www.urbanvoyeur.com)

[ * I didn't include, so check them out at the link above; Added link to James Spooner ]

How You Can Support Our Troops

From Howard Dean:

Dear Friend,

Governor Howard Dean, M.D.

Support our Troops if you can. Because George Bush really doesn't.

Me & My Perfect Timing

Couple years ago I finally buy a minidisc recorder and Apple comes out with the iPod about five weeks later.

This past week I won two eBay auctions for MP3 players and now this:

Think Secret - Mini iPods, major iLife update focus of upcoming Expo keynote

Reliable sources inside and outside of Apple have confirmed Apple will announce the new pocket-size iPods in a number of capacities and in various colors, including stripes. Capacities will be 2 and 4GB -- meaning users could store some 400 and 800 songs, respectively. Prices will start at around $100US, Think Secret has learned. It is not known if the new product line will be available immediately after introduction.

Great timing. Anyone wanna buy a new MP3 player for about $55? :-(

I Wasn't The Only One

Don't get me started on the fact that the "bad guys" are the brown people from the East who are riding elephants, carrying scimitars, and wearing turbans. The books were written by a British guy, let's not forget. -- anil dash on LOTR: ROTK & "Spoiler Queens"

I enjoyed the trilogy, especially the final installment, so spare me your criticisms and any blathering about the time frame of the books. I understand, yet don't understand the need for color-coding in the movies. Frodo can't have one bruvah help his funny looking ass out, but tons of them going up against the "good guys?" Hmpf.

Michael Jackson Hates Your Cracka Ass

[ Via Prometheus 6, linking to this piece of NY Times trash ] :

Nation of Islam Is Said to Control Michael Jackson's Business Affairs

I'd rather not quote from the article, just note that mainstream (read: WHITE!) media is eating this shit up like manna from heavan. While I don't believe MiJak's accusations of physical abuse and snide commentary by a couple of officers, to see the lead screaming Banshee Diane Dimond nearly foaming at the mouth about the timeline (*hint* see: OJ Simpson) not gelling with his allegations is almost sickening to me. I'm still waiting for Dimond to produce MiJak's "love letters" written to the boy. Hell, I'm still waiting for that '94 video to finally appear. This twat has no credibility and has an obvious ax to grind. (Google her name, Michael's, "video," and, "slander lawsuit" yourself.)

I've read several blogs and heard in person several white people complain/whine about the interviewer. But not so much about his style: "Why did Ed Bradley have to interview him!?" Anyone that believes it's not because of Mr. Bradley's race is a fool, liar or Republican (yeah, I know, same difference). I guess the brotha gave Mike some slack. [/sarcasm] Yes, it was sometimes painful to watch. Why Geragos allowed the interview, why Bradley wasn't more on-point, more forceful in questioning Mike is beyond me.

Until the NOI comes out and proclaims its intent to assist Michael, until the man himself says he is involving the org, I won't believe a word of this bullshit. I can't accept the remarks of "anonymous sources" and disgruntled former employees/NOI members.

A trial is probably many months away and he's already convicted in the eyes of many because he's weird. Maybe I'm just a simple Black man from Brooklyn, but this looks like nothing more than another extortion plot by a financially desparate, morally bankrupt parent. Given the absence of any physical evidence, no talk of circumstantial evidence and the obvious hatred on the part of the sneering DA (and much of white America), I have serious doubts that Michael will receive a fair trial or that this won't dissolve into another sad case of race and religion being used to divide.

South Carolina Looks Interesting

From a resurrected The Black World Today

A recent poll of South Carolina Democratic Primary voters released December 23 by the American Research Group / Pew Research Center showed that former Vermont Governor Howard Dean leads in South Carolina with 16%, Reverend Sharpton and General Clark tied for second with 12% while North Carolina Senator John Edwards dropped to 11%. Congressman Dick Gephardt was at 7%, Carol Mosley Braun at 3% and Massachusetts Senator John Kerry was at 2%. The poll of 600 likely voters was taken December 17th to 21st.

I'd wait to see the next poll numbers and the results of the first 2/3 votes before SC. No matter what, Rev. Al will have a major impact on the race as some of the other candidates begin to drop like flies.

Actually, I'm praying (yes, I used that word) for Sharpton to beat Clark in South Carolina. Taylor's Theorem: In you lifetime, you will hate and/or be hated by someone for no good reason at all. Clarke is my someone. (OK, my second someone, but Antonio Jackson turned out to be a pretty cool guy.)

Happy Birthday Haiti!

[ via Ray Garraud, Sak Pase to Haiti Pundit who celebrates the Haitian Bicentennial ] :

Frederick Douglass, Consul General to Haiti from 1889-91, shows his love for the nation:

Until She Spoke

Until she spoke, no Christian nation had abolished Negro slavery.

Until she spoke, no Christian nation had given to the world an organized effort to abolish slavery.

Until she spoke, the slave ship, followed by hungry sharks, greedy to devour the dead and dying slaves flung overboard to feed them, ploughed in peace the South Atlantic, painting the sea with the Negro's blood.

Until she spoke, the slave trade was sanctioned by all the Christian nations of the world, and our land of liberty and light included.

Men made fortunes by this infernal traffic, and were esteemed as good Christians, and the standing types and representations of the Savior of the World.

Until Haiti spoke, the church was silent, and the pulpit was dumb.

Slave-traders lived and slave-traders died.

Funeral sermons were preached over them, and of them it was said that they died in the triumphs of the Christian faith and went to heaven among the just.